


Nights

by babel



Series: Lost Time [2]
Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-16
Updated: 2012-09-16
Packaged: 2017-11-14 09:16:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/513670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babel/pseuds/babel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are a lot of nights neither of them remember.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nights

"Did you hear that?" Tim whispers in the darkness.

Jay is only half awake by now. It's been a long day, and then Tim came over and made it a long night too. "It's okay. It's the wind or something. Just go to sleep."

"Yeah..." Tim settles down further into the mattress. He's quiet for a long moment, and Jay starts to drift off again until, "Does it bother you?"

"What?"

"Not, y'know, telling."

"About?"

Jay hears Tim turn his head to look at him. "The whole us thing."

"Oh. _That_ thing."

"Yeah."

"No," Jay says. "It doesn't bother me."

"Okay. 'Cause, I mean. With everything going on..."

"It really doesn't bother me, Tim." Jay shifts his weight to put an arm around him. "Now, go to sleep."

"Okay..."

Sometime later, Jay feels Tim leave the bed. But when he wakes up Tim is back again, finally asleep.

* * *

They've been meeting up at night for a couple weeks now. Long enough to fall into something like a routine.

Tim shows up at the door, frustrated and anxious, but he never wants to talk about it. There isn't much talking at all. Jay has already wondered more than once if it's healthy, what they're doing. It doesn't end up mattering, though. He doesn't want to stop.

They usually make it to the bedroom. Sometimes the couch. One time, the wall next to the front door. And afterward, Tim is a little more relaxed, although he's never actually _calm_. Jay has been noticing more and more that Tim is never, ever calm. Even when he's sleeping, his brow is furrowed, and he usually has his arms wrapped tightly around himself.

Jay watches him in the dim light cast from the streetlights outside, one of the rare times Tim falls asleep first. He used to have a cat, and when it seemed to be having bad dreams, he'd pet it until it relaxed again, so he tries the same with Tim. He pets his hair gently, careful not to wake him, and he whispers _It's okay, Tim. It's okay._ until, finally, Tim's expression softens.

He keeps whispering _it's okay_ as he closes his eyes, and he realizes that the words are comforting _him_ as well, unloosing some fear inside him that he didn't realize was there.

* * *

Tim wakes up in the night, screaming. Jay tries to... to something. To hold him, to calm him down, but he shoves Jay away and sits there, knees hugged to his chest, rocking back and forth. 

Jay can't do anything but watch him until, finally, Tim whispers. "I dreamed I hurt you. You were bleeding. Your eyes were open. I couldn't stop..."

"Tim, I'm fine." Jay turns on the lamp on the bedside table. "Look at me."

He doesn't, at first. He stares forward, still rocking a little, until finally he turns his head. "You're... fine," he mutters, as if he doesn't entirely believe it.

"Yeah." Jay reaches out carefully to rub Tim's back, and Tim doesn't push him away this time. "It was just a dream. You wouldn't hurt me."

"In the... the dream." He swallows thickly. "In the dream, I knew no one knew about us, so you'd just disappear and no one would suspect me. Maybe... Maybe we shouldn't do this anymore."

Jay frowns and rests his head on Tim's shoulder. "It was just a dream, man. It's going to be okay."

"Are you sure about that?" He tilts his head, so that his cheek is pressed against Jay's hair. "Can you really tell me there's not something wrong going on?"

Jay closes his eyes. He wants to say that he's sure. He wants to say that there's nothing tugging on the edges of his mind all the time these days. But all he can say is, "It's okay, Tim. Everything's okay."

* * *

The phone rings just after sunset. Jay sees that it's Alex, and he almost doesn't answer.

But in the end, he does. He always does. 

"What's going on with you and Tim?"

Jay's stomach twists, and for a moment, he isn't sure what to say. "I... Is it any of your business."

"God _dammit_ , Jay. This is serious. Stay away from him."

"How do you even know that--"

"Just listen to me for once. Or I'll have to... Just _stay away_ from him."

Alex ends the call just as there's a knock on the door. Jay stares at the phone for a long moment, then he lets Tim in.

Tim stays the night as usual, and when he leaves in the morning, Jay can't shake the feeling that he's not going to see him again.

* * *

Tim hasn't come by for days, and he's not answering his phone, so Jay calls Alex instead. It takes fourteen tries over the course of two days before Alex answers.

"Tell me where Tim is," he says before Alex can get a word out.

"Gone."

"What do you mean _gone_?"

"I mean gone. And you will be too, if you don't let this go."

"What are you saying, Alex?"

"Stop asking stupid questions," Alex says, and he ends the call.

Jay tries to call five times in a row before he goes out to find Alex himself.

* * *

It's years later, and Jay wakes up in an abandoned shack in the forest, his camera resting on the floor in front of him. He find Tim outside on the ground, and neither of them remember what happened the night before.

There are a lot of nights neither of them remember.

Jay grips his camera like a security blanket, and follows Tim as he wanders around out onto a trail, and he realizes Tim looks as lost as _he's_ felt for months now.

"My camera was just in front of me... when I woke up," Jay says, not sure what else to say at this point.

"Still working?" Tim asks distractedly as he tries to get his bearings.

"Yeah, but the battery's almost dead." The screen flickers out as he's saying it, and if his head weren't throbbing so much and if his throat weren't so raw, he might even laugh. "And now it's dead."

"Great," Tim mutters.

Jay looks over at him, and he's not sure why, but he says, "It's okay, Tim. Everything's okay."

Tim stops and looks at him for a long moment. "Why do I feel like you've said that to me before?"

"I don't know," Jay says. "But I feel like I've said it before."

"Was it true last time?"

Jay looks away for a moment, then back at Tim. "It is this time."

There's a flicker of an expression on Tim's face, like maybe he believes him despite everything, but he shakes his head, and it's gone. "Let's just get out of here."

Jay nods, and follows close after him.


End file.
